It's when you read something like that you know you are deep in the provinces. It wasn't even a slow news day either because page two read "Double Yellows Have Pensioners Seeing Red".
But while visiting quaint backwaters is a joy of touring one should be aware that entertainment isn't what you might be used to in the big smoke...
...And sing-a-long with John on his organ we did, although few of us were old enough to remember all the verses to "Don't Trap your Finger in the Mangle Mrs Timms", which is probably just as well as the locals looked a little surprised when half a dozen trained and over-confident voices launched into "My Old Man (Said Follow the Van)" with the unwelcome gusto of a crotch sniffing spaniel at a dinner party.When out and about as a company I feel it's best to remain discreet: Nobody really wants a bunch of turns monopolising their Karaoke night (no matter how much you feel you are raising the standard).
Similarly pub quizs though tempting entertainment for a night off are potential flash points. After winning a fiercely contested event near Barry Island we were left in little doubt that our custom was no longer welcome in the Old Cock.
Go carefully through the colonies dear tourer "The Wickerman" may not entirely be a work of fancy.
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