Snakes and Ladders ...and more Snakes

Today I found myself gracing the boards of a West End stage.

Unfortunately it was 9am and i was hoovering it.

Some might say it was my finest performance. As I beavered away I imagined the reviews... "A thorough and detailed performance from Mr Webb" (Evening Standard) "Webb's mastery of his craft had the audience spellbound" (Guardian) "Patchy" (Vacuuming Now)

"But this is not befitting of an actor who has performed for Princess Margaret" I hear you cry. Well actually it confirms a truth that many of us 'journeymen' actors already know... Career progression rarely exists in our world: It's a strange path of snakes and ladders (sometimes seemingly with several snakes to each ladder). For example a good friend of mine recently closed a sell out number 1 tour on Saturday night and by Sunday afternoon was in front two dozen feral coked up kids (coca-cola) wearing a red nose and doing amazing things with knotted rope.

I can't see this kind of liquid approach to employment happening in any other field: How many bakers moonlight as teachers?; Do accountants fill odd days as painters and decorators?; Would estate agents occasionally dress as a large sanitary towel and hand out free samples? Well alright maybe in the current economic climate, but the point is this: Sure, we'd all like to be employed in our dream jobs all of the time but actually what some might call my 'portfolio career', as well as hoovering a stage, has taken me to some amazing places... a speedboat at night on the Thames, numerous amazing hotels and restaurants, a concert in St. Paul's, a week on a sun-kissed beach, an Easter parade in Edinburgh and so on and so on. Not to mention some of the amazing people I have worked with along the way.

The business of making this Business work can be unpredictable, exciting and challenging and that is partly what I signed up for so 'vive la difference'

Of course a comfortable 6 month theatre contract would be good about now!

And in case you were wondering how i came to be vacuuming a west end stage at 9 in the morning... For a few weeks I'm covering a friend who crews on a W.End show and the theatre is out hired today so I'm providing some monkey work (including hoovering). And don't tell my agent because hopefully he's feeling guilty about my alternative employment, but I'm actually rather enjoying it.